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It was a very nice planet, strikingly similar to our planet Earth in many ways, but with a few minor differences. The most noticeable being that civilization on Planet Steve was simpler and less technologically advanced than Earth, although it had been around longer. That's because the Stevian brain had evolved on a slightly different path from ours, and its default consciousness was subsequently altered.
For example, a Stevian was easily distracted from tedium, so rather than reporting for a long days work in a factory, manufacturing spatulas and screwdrivers and nylon pantyhose, a Stevian would rather sit outside on a nice day and marvel at how cool the clouds looked. They had no need for nylon anyway, as they wove most of their clothing by hand from natural materials like cotton and silk and hemp.
Their sense of taste was more heightened than ours, resulting in an inability to resist eating their equivalents of Oreos and Ho-Hos. And they thought everything was funny. In fact, that was their motto: ''Steve. The funny planet.''
Their short term memories were pathetic. When someone reached the end of a long complex sentence, it was not expected that he, or anybody else, would remember how it started. At town council meetings, rather than reading the minutes of the last meeting, they read the minutes of the present meeting, as they went along.
When their President addressed the nation, she would pause periodically and mumble, ''Now what was I talking about?'' A five-man team of stenographers, seated behind her, would try to remember.
Steve was a third year student at the local community college. (Many people on Planet Steve were named ''Steve.'')
So Steve and his girlfriend Stevie were sitting around one Saturday night with no more to do than usual.
''Hey Stevie,'' said Steve.
''What?'' said Stevie.
''Huh?'' said Steve.
''I said, ‘What?'''
''Oh, yeah. Like, you wanna smoke a joint?''
''Yeah, good idea. Let's do it. I didn't know you had any,'' said Stevie.
''Had any what?'' asked Steve.
''Any, uh...wait, hold on....''
While Stevie was trying to remember what it was she didn't realize Steve had any of, Steve came up with an idea.
''Hey Stevie, you wanna smoke a joint?''
Steve and Stevie rolled up a cigarette with an illegal psychoactive plant that had been smuggled in from a neighboring country, where it grew plentifully. After a few minutes, the air was thick with a sweet herbacious aroma. Steve got up and switched off the lava lamp, put the lights way up and turned on the Stevian version of Fox News.
''Are you feeling the effects of this yet, as am I?'' inquired Steve.
''Yes, as a matter of fact I am. It's a peculiar sensation. As if time were passing at a regular rate. And I'm not noticing how cool anything looks. I find it frustrating that this state of mind is disencouraged in our society. Your commentary, Steve?''
Steve paused a moment.
''You know what's funny, Stevie?'' laughed Steve. ''I can remember everything you just said!''
Just then the police burst through the door.
''Arwrite, man,'' said the pot-bellied lieutenant. ''This is a, uh.... Oh, crap, what's the name of that thing this is?''
The deputies began to snicker, getting the lieutenant tickled.
Although illegal, this and similar mind-altering substances had an irreversible effect on the culture of the entire planet, influencing art, music, advertising, politics and science.
As a result of her experimentation with this altered state of consciousness, Stevie went on to become a tax accountant, while Steve became a noted scientist at The University of Steve and invented a new bomb that eventually blew The Planet Steve to Smithereens. Which is where they all came from anyway.
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